Hear it...Feel it...FACE IT

My words today are simple: we need to hear, feel and face life head on.   My thoughts are an inspiration from a song I heard at church today called 'Headphones' by Jars of Clay. 

The song immediately reminded me of how at times I try to cope by tuning things out. To pretend it doesn't hurt is not coping- it's hiding from the truth.  The world can be a sad place at times. Women all around us are being diagnosed with breast cancer.  There are wars everywhere- young men and women and children dying for what seems so fruitless.    The news is rarely up lifting and drivers can seem ever so rude.  Our reaction- change it?  How can we change it?  Admittedly, at times I feel like no matter how much of a difference I make- it won't matter.  So it's easy to pull the covers over our heads... drowning it with TV...to practice deeds of selfishness instead of feeding the starving...to go numb.  Do we put our headphones on because it's easier to drown out the hurt and pains of this imperfect world that we were not meant to live in?  Numbness does not burn or tingle...it's painless.

However, it also does not bring joy.  I think it's good for all of us to take the headphones off- to give God permission to use us to lift the sadness in the lives of those around us- whether strangers next door or across the globe or our most loved.  God cannot heal our hurts if we choose to remain numb.  The lyrics are below-think on them--- move on them.  Be moved to face the hurt- not alone but with the power of the cross- because from that God will bring joy.  

No headphones! ~AT

Headphones by Jars of Clay

I don’t have to hear it if I don’t want to

I can drown this out, pull the curtains down on you

It’s a heavy world

It’s too much for me to care

If I close my eyes it’s not there

With my headphones on…

 We watch television

But the sound is something else

Just a song played against the drummer so the hurt is never felt

I take in the war fighters

I am chilled by the current events

It is so hopeless but there’s a pop song in my headphones on

With my headphones on…

At the tube stop

You sit down across from me (echo: I can see you)

I think I know you

By the sad eyes that I see

I want to tell you  (echo: it’s a heavy world)

Everything be okay

You wouldn’t hear it (echo: I don’t want to have to hear it)

So we go our separate ways

With our headphones on…

 I don’t want to have to hear it...I don’t want to have to hear it

Surrender to gain control...

Throughout 2009 I have faced a series of events centered around the pain and consequences of various diseases and conditions.  At times it seems so unreal and at other moments, the reality has been more real than I so wish.  

My agenda has been altered despite my resistance to not let my circumstances weaken me even an ounce.   I have been confronted once again by the reality that even with a strong heart, mind, and faith I cannot just ignore my body's signals. As I have faced the reality of being less productive, I have been saddened, mad, and struck with guilt.  I have tried to maintain control by ignoring it--- by marching on- pretending it does not exist.   

Today I received an intervening message that has renewed my perspective- enabled me to journey with joy and hope.  I have again been blessed with the realization that I have been paralyzed with the desire to maintain control over my circumstances.  The secret is to surrender- to yield and confess every area of our lives.  As it says in Mark 8:35, "Whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever  shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it."

At times God blesses me with the strength to have peace- to be content.  Other times, I admittedly live in a state of trying to maintain control as the wind sweeps and the rain pours upon my heart and body.  I feverishly pray for my hearts desire- for God to calm the storm.  Today, God has lightened the cross I bear by revealing to me once again the secret to victory... surrender, yield, and confess.   

Journey in His Victory

 ~AT 

Hope

It's been a long time since I've written and many have asked for an update. As many of you know, I've started immune suppressant drugs, which has helped me so much. My body feels like it's being repaired from the damage my over active immune system was causing. As I reflect on the year, I see just how much God has carried me and even allowed me to fly with joy.

What carries the human spirit in such times as now? What allows us to fly when our wings are broken? HOPE. Hope is a simple 4-letter word that is endlessly freeing. Christmas is a wonderful time to be reminded of hope. Hope came to us in form of a baby boy. May we see the hope surrounding us during these hard times we face, whether in your own life, your family, or as a nation...HOPE SHALL GUIDE US...Not empty hope- but hope full of faith. "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see," (Hebrews 11). Journey with Hope ~ AT

Freedom from Captivity

As we celebrate Memorial day, how can we not help but think about what we are free from? It is so easy to take our freedom for granted. More so, why do we gravitate towards living in captivity when we can be free from something? Captivity is subtle- blinding. Yesterday, I heard a sermon on living free from sin, and what I realized is that I have subtly been living in the captivity of idolization. We idolize all sorts of things- like beauty, money, and so forth. It struck me that I am in surfing in the waves of idolizing health. It's the one thing I really long for--- to be able to not have pain--- I have put it up on a pedestal. Do you have that thing in your life that makes you say, "If only...then..."? "If only...then..." is a lie- it holds us captive from appreciating what we are already free from. Praying with expectation is not idolization, but trying to fill an empty hole with an idol puts us back into captivity.

Absorb freedom's beauty ~ AT

The Choice

Today I'm borrowing wisdom from my favorite book, "You Gotta Keep Dancin'" by Tim Hansel. I've had some hurdles to jump lately and need more wisdom if I'm going to jump.

I've come to learn over many years of chronic illness that the journey is full of humps that can be hard. My humps have been "looking for the magic cure," "cautiously living," "seeking symptom suppression," "existing from one doctor appointment to the next." I'm thankful these humps are infrequent but they are still hard to crawl over when they come up. What humps are you crawling over? What do we need to let Jesus carry us over?

A cheerful heart is the best medicine, and I have to bite the bullet and get out of the cycle of fear and cautious panic. It's easy to be living with low-grade discouragement and not realize it. But I've realized it and that I praise God for---because realizing it is the first step toward living in joy for today.

No matter what kind of pain it is- physical, emotional, spiritual- pain can intercept our hopes and plans- it can rearrange our dreams and always leaves a mark. We cannot change the circumstances but we can change our response.

Happiness is a feeling that depends on circumstances- our health can depend on somebody else- but we have a choice--- to have joy--- joy is an attitude that can triumph through our circumstances.

Biting the bullet to live in joy for TODAY! Lord Jesus, carry us in joy. AT

Humbled

Today, I was thinking about how I wish I had a different body--- a body that would run- one that did not ache. A new body is something I look forward to in heaven but what can I learn here and now--- today? Today I thank God for humbling me and pray that he gives me the strength to have a grateful heart each day. I long for heaven but live for today--- today I walk as a humbled human. Oh how different our see through  humble eyes today.

What do your eyes see today? Humbly looking ~ AT

Risk Builds Faith

I'm embarking on a journey today- a 30 day challenge. I'm taking a risk to deepen my walk with God. There are some good shows on TV, but I'm stepping out on a 30 day journey- a challenge- of no TV. I could get quite bored or maybe even lonely without the noise- but I want to try and use my free time to get more in touch with God- more in touch with His purpose for my life. Instead of spending hours listening to the TV at night to drown out the world- to drown out the hurt- I want to run to God in this season of suffering. I want to face my fears- face my pain.

It's been hard for me to see God's purpose in the suffering lately, but I'm convinced that He will bless me with His presence in the next 30 days. I've chosen 30 days because that's when the doctors expect to know more about what's going on with my liver- I've decided that at the end of 30 days I don't just want test results- I want to be a stronger woman of faith!

What are we to gain if we never step out in faith? God gives us the faith we need to take the next step in our journey- what is your next step? What is God asking you to face? How are you to face it- what do you need to risk?

With TV now in storage--- Risking to build faith ~AT

Inspiration

We all need inspiration each day if we are going to live for today. You have probably already seen this but so had I-- it inspired me for today- to dream- to be energetic- to be kind.
Be inspried ~AT

http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=ithct48cqw

Addendum to being surprised

Wow! I'm already blown away- completely surprised today! I have to fill you in an a little experiment I've been running today, and I hope you will run it yourself!

I've been filled with joy and hope this morning. I've been just going about my usual business this morning but things are not so usual--- my smile seems as contagious as the flu this year! On my usual walk to get coffee through the tunnels of the hospital, the influence of joy became so obvious. The most amazing thing I've experienced in a long time--- strangers making not only eye contact- but giving me a huge smile and a loud- confident- "hello!" It gives me this wonderful feeling of being connected with fellow mankind on an intimate- real level.

Please replicate this experiment in your life today ~AT

Be surprised

It's pretty early right now but God has already blessed my day with smiles. I was reminded of this concept of living for today very early this morning- that means it's going to be a good day because I have made the choice to view life as a blessing. So my words are simple today- simple but powerful- Rejoice! Let God surprise you... ask and you shall receive.

Influence through joy for today and be surprised with gladness ~ AT