I will keep this short and brief to say God simply answers prayers. Through all suffering there is complete joy. I had a laparoscopy surgery and colonoscopy today that so far could NOT have gone any better. Answered prayers:
1) My colon did NOT need be resected in any part!
2) No open abdominal surgery. This will be months of less recovery
3) Clear problems as source of pain that I've had for months that were addressed with surgery. My abdominal wall by my umbilicus was adhered down to my pelvis, both ovaries were adhered- the left was taken out because it was such a tangled mess, and there was more fibrosis thought to be from my autoimmune disease that they cut out. There was no more endometriosis so that disease is under control- praise God!! The fibrosis is not retroperitoneal- this is a BIG answered prayer!!
4) God has faithfully protected me, given me emotional and spiritual strength the past 2 months while in pain and waiting for surgery.
I'm doing well and expect to be discharged soon. It's hard to type with an oximeter on my finger BUT I am wondering:
What prayers are you seeing answered?
How have answered prayers changed your journey?
Smiling with Him Today,
AT
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
The Perfect Beat
It was approximately 7:30am as I pulled into my usual narrow parking spot in the Washington Avenue Ramp at the University as I was nudged by none other than... yup it was that Spirt- the Holy One connecting some dots. It was like Lite-Brite (BEAUTIFUL) and a great way to start the day!
I was listening to a CD of music and thought, "this is a great CD- it is the perfect mix of songs." It was the perfect mix of upbeat yet allowed me to reflect and made me feel alive. It was a great way to pull into work to start the day. My coffee helped too. Instantaneously I thought, "Where is it from- who made this?" And then I remembered: I MADE IT!! Of course I would love it because I know myself pretty well and made it for such an occasion in mind- thinking I know what I would probably want and need. Then the Holy Spirit WOOSHED IN and did his thing and turned my simple thoughts about my CD into a deeper understanding of God in order to grow closer to him.
I was reminded that God knows the depths of our souls, he knows our hearts, all of our desires, all of our flaws, EVERYTHING, and he designs the PERFECT MIX FOR US ALL DAY LONG. We are called to TRUST him and listen to his mix. We may be tempted to change the station or listen to the static of the world. I do this all the time!! Why not trust our ultimate DJ- our designer?
His mix is made of love- knowing us perfectly. Only he can make the perfect mix for us because only he knows the depth of our heart. Our hearts are constantly being molded - all day long from all of our experiences. So much of my life has been shaped by my experience by the trials of chronic disease; things beyond my comprehension and control. However, it is not beyond his control and it is well within his design of my perfect mix.
It is so easy to miss the beauty of music- the beat of the hip-hop if we are listening to our own mixes. I often make my own mix in hopes to avoid pain. Or perhaps we are looking for more excitement. Do you wish you had more of something?
Do you listen to your own music because you do not comprehend or trust God's plan for you today? I am guilty as charged but TODAY I want to interact with his grace and LISTEN to him. Trust him.
So together- may we LISTEN to HIS perfect mix. It's not just any mix- it is YOUR mix because HE knows the depths of your heart. Let His grace INVADE your life by turning up the volume to the mix designed by the one who knows the depths of who you are and what you do.
Journey for each beat, each day
~AT
I was listening to a CD of music and thought, "this is a great CD- it is the perfect mix of songs." It was the perfect mix of upbeat yet allowed me to reflect and made me feel alive. It was a great way to pull into work to start the day. My coffee helped too. Instantaneously I thought, "Where is it from- who made this?" And then I remembered: I MADE IT!! Of course I would love it because I know myself pretty well and made it for such an occasion in mind- thinking I know what I would probably want and need. Then the Holy Spirit WOOSHED IN and did his thing and turned my simple thoughts about my CD into a deeper understanding of God in order to grow closer to him.
I was reminded that God knows the depths of our souls, he knows our hearts, all of our desires, all of our flaws, EVERYTHING, and he designs the PERFECT MIX FOR US ALL DAY LONG. We are called to TRUST him and listen to his mix. We may be tempted to change the station or listen to the static of the world. I do this all the time!! Why not trust our ultimate DJ- our designer?
His mix is made of love- knowing us perfectly. Only he can make the perfect mix for us because only he knows the depth of our heart. Our hearts are constantly being molded - all day long from all of our experiences. So much of my life has been shaped by my experience by the trials of chronic disease; things beyond my comprehension and control. However, it is not beyond his control and it is well within his design of my perfect mix.
It is so easy to miss the beauty of music- the beat of the hip-hop if we are listening to our own mixes. I often make my own mix in hopes to avoid pain. Or perhaps we are looking for more excitement. Do you wish you had more of something?
Do you listen to your own music because you do not comprehend or trust God's plan for you today? I am guilty as charged but TODAY I want to interact with his grace and LISTEN to him. Trust him.
Journey for each beat, each day
~AT
Monday, July 2, 2012
His Pain: My Gain
Nothing has been more sustaining than God's words and the people that surround me- so full of love. This love is visible if I stop and take it in. Taking love in is a choice. I have gone through a lot of trials lately but he continues to sustain me. Today is a perfect example of how he gives me just what I need to know that I have been healed. I continue to pray for full physical healing, if it is is his will, but in the meantime, he has given me peace. Thank you for your prayers and ALL of your actions of love. Here are His words that brought such peace today:
He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that, free from sins, we might live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been freed.
I Peter 2:24 NRSV
So with no shame, guilt, or pain I run full of mercy and grace. Despite pain today, I celebrate all of the freedom I have by shouting and singing at the top of my lungs in the car to a crazy song about love and some disco!
Simple fun and great grace.
Journey for today in each moment.
Love in Him,
~Anna
He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that, free from sins, we might live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been freed.
I Peter 2:24 NRSV
So with no shame, guilt, or pain I run full of mercy and grace. Despite pain today, I celebrate all of the freedom I have by shouting and singing at the top of my lungs in the car to a crazy song about love and some disco!
Simple fun and great grace.
Journey for today in each moment.
Love in Him,
~Anna
Sunday, July 10, 2011
A Good Good Friend
The past couple of months have brought one trial after another physically with a flare-up in my autoimmune disease. It started with swelling in my hands and feet with great fatigue and has led to multiple infections, including hospitalization for mastoiditis last weekend. There is uncertainty what is causing pain in the side of my head. The CT scan shows questionable bone density suggesting possible necrosis or infection. I find myself begging to God for mercy in the form of blood tests being positive-- revealing an answer to this pain. I need understanding and answers.
Through this process God has reminded me that he is the very best friend I could have. HE IS LOVE! What better of a friend to have. He is not against me for he is all goodness. It is knowing his goodness that motivates me to strive to be more like him. It is in knowing he is my friend that as I offer up my prayers, begging for mercy, that I can trust him and learn to surrender. I can trust the end result because I know he is good. He is my friend.
This is a beautiful piece of art that inspires me to overcome my anxieties and fears; to trade these emotions for trust in order to pursue a deeper love with my dearest friend and father God.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIOsIbqpR5s&feature=player_embedded
Through this process God has reminded me that he is the very best friend I could have. HE IS LOVE! What better of a friend to have. He is not against me for he is all goodness. It is knowing his goodness that motivates me to strive to be more like him. It is in knowing he is my friend that as I offer up my prayers, begging for mercy, that I can trust him and learn to surrender. I can trust the end result because I know he is good. He is my friend.
This is a beautiful piece of art that inspires me to overcome my anxieties and fears; to trade these emotions for trust in order to pursue a deeper love with my dearest friend and father God.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIOsIbqpR5s&feature=player_embedded
3:56
"You've Got a Friend" 2009 - SandFantasy
"You are not alone. You've got a friend, who will help you through your pains and sorrow and will always be at your side..." Journeying with a good good friend! AT
"You've Got a Friend" 2009 - SandFantasy"You are not alone. You've got a friend, who will help you through your pains and sorrow and will always be at your side..." Journeying with a good good friend! AT
Saturday, January 8, 2011
The Word...
Here are some great tips for successfully reading the bible from Paul Ireland who attends Hope Community Church. I think what resonates for me is journaling and praying because it takes away the legalistic attitude I so easily develop out of reading the Word when I'm aiming to be disciplined about reading it. My 2011 isn't reading the whole bible but reading it daily. And most importantly, meeting Jesus each day in that time. May we all respond to what we read.
Kind of a cool story about how God spoke to me about the Word today...
I'm waiting for follow-up on some test results right now to know why I'm having edema in my legs and protein in my urine. I've been restless because I hate waiting! I like to know how I'm moving forward. In praying for peace God made it quite clear to me today that peace comes from his Word. Once again my time in the Word this morning was about how important the Word is. God is driving home the point (thank goodness)! It absolutely blows me away how much he continually pursues us! Crazy man! So after reading my bible, I got out of bed and went to the kitchen where I have a daily flip devotional/verse book. I rarely remember to turn it but today I did :-)
Sure enough it was the perfect message. And God speaks!! "Are storms in your life making you afraid? You can have peace despite the storms. Stay close to Jesus Christ. Read God's Word. Pray." Isaiah 26:3 "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee"
In His Peace,
AT
Friday, January 7, 2011
"Raising the Bar in 2011"
This is a blog post that I wrote for the blog for the women of Hope Community Church. The blog is called "Raising the Bar" in which we share our stories to encourage each other and hold each other accountable as to how God calls us to "Raise the Bar" in our lives. I have to say that not having blogged in awhile it feels a bit too personal to share, which is odd because for those of you who know me, I tend to share a lot sometimes. I think what I feel is vulnerable. I had thoughts like "what if they think..." Vulnerability is scary but not if we know we are sharing with those who will encourage us and hold us accountable through fellowship and prayer. So in that spirit, I share this with you as well. May we all "Raise the Bar" in 2011!
“Holding on Through Illness”
I have faced a mountain of physical trials in my life of 30 years. It started with being born with a cleft lip and palate but the journey has continued as I battle daily with an autoimmune disease. It is a journey that I would never have wished for, yet through it I have been drawn to God. I have been a witness to God’s faithfulness to do immeasurably more than I ask or imagine as the Holy Spirit works through my pain for Christ’s glory.
My autoimmune disease causes my immune system to attack many systems of my body. It has caused things like partial paresis of my stomach, internal scar tissue to build up, joint inflammation, rashes, circulation problems, and eye problems - and the list goes on. My medication list is about two pages long and includes things like immune suppressants and about 10 pills per meal so I can digest my food. I have had over 30 surgeries, including bilateral hip surgery and most recently in August, I had to have a complete hysterectomy. I have asked God many times, “Why me?” Yet in the thick of tears, as I wonder if he loves me, or if I can persevere once again, he delivers the perfect dose of love and strength. He has called me to grow through such trials - offering my body as a living sacrifice, suffering for his glory. He has called me to “Raise the Bar.” What does “Raising the Bar” look like in the midst of these continuous trials?
Inch by inch God has raised the bar in my life so that I will love him most endearingly: learning to lean on him in the valleys and to dance with him on the mountaintops of life. Raising the bar in my life has meant holding on to the bar as God raises it; and holding on to the bar means I must trust God is holding on to me. This is the core of my journey as a woman who is being sanctified by Christ and surviving on his mercy alone, through the trials of chronic illness and pain, with all the uncertainly of what tomorrow may bring.
I have been near the bottom of the valley with my physical strength stripped away, emotions that have plummeted, and not knowing how to persevere in God’s hope. And it is in those moments that God whispers to me, “Anna, just let me hold on to you!” He raises the bar in my life! He teaches me how to persevere through each trial, giving me the ounce of strength I need to be rooted in Jesus; to surrender my fears and hopes into the cradle of his arms.
In the valley and on the mountaintop, God continues to teach me that I am to live each moment in his presence, in the forgiveness and strength of his love, connected to Him by the Great Counselor, the Holy Spirit. Within His Spirit, I can remain fixed on the vision of heaven, filtering out the ways of the world that distract me from the mission we have been given. It gives me an outward focus, a Christ-centered focus. A constant challenge in dealing with a chronic illness is not becoming inwardly focused and self-centered. And remaining connected to the presence of God within each moment allows me to find much needed rest as I battle with the physical challenges. For in Christ, there is rest for the weary and burdened; I can learn much from His humble and gentle spirit (Matthew 11:28). God has also challenged me lately to share his humble and gentle spirit with others, as it is like a virus that spreads. And that is how I can raise the bar, even with a chronic illness, helping spread the gospel like a wild fire!
In the valley, God has also taught me that a part of journeying for today is not repressing or denying my emotions but surrendering them to Him, trusting Him that healing will come. He has challenged me to not sit idle in pity or pain, but to make a decision to courageously follow him through the trial. In each trial, this has looked different. Sometimes God brings me happiness to dance, while in other trials God shows me that his arms are a cradle ready to comfort and console me. Regardless of how God chooses to bring me through each trial, he continually challenges me to just hold on.
Throughout the circumstances of each trial, God continues to discipline me as a dear daughter so that I may share in his holiness. As Hebrews chapter 12 says,“For in the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” In my desire to be refined, God has disciplined me to spend more time in His Word and to commit His Word to my memory. Since I graduated from college in 2003 I have struggled on multiple occasions to have the same quality time in the Word. This struggle recently resurfaced (became obvious) as I battled with anxiety while recovering from major surgery. In the midst of my recovery, anxiety was beginning to consume my mind at times because I stressed about being away from my extra full-time faculty job for two months and my Ph.D. program. I kept praying that God would come to my rescue but my worries and restlessness kept whirling. Over and over, God brought it to my attention how much more I needed His Word on a daily basis - as I had walked away from that commitment. Every time I read the Word I realized how much more of it I needed in order to stay connected to God! He also put people in my life to remind me of my need! I had simply walked away from it because I just felt content where I was with God. I felt close enough to God. Whoa dangerous! What a big oxymoron- feeling close enough to God! There should have been a big danger sign: “CLIFF AHEAD: EMOTIONS LYING.”
I was relying on myself to be fulfilled with peace. I made excuses like “I’m too tired.” God disciplined me and made it clear that my anxiety was not going to go away if I did not fill my mind with the Word. So I started memorizing verses that helped me. When sin leaves our minds, there is a hole remaining and something must fill it. I finally allowed the hole in my mind to be filled with the Word instead of letting anxiety rush back in. In that instance, my sin was anxiety controlling my life but there are many other things that can take Christ off center stage of my mind. God continues to challenge me to read his Word, to mediate on it, and to memorize it. And boy it is a challenge! I have spent a lot of time wondering why it is such a challenge for me.
I have a lot of guilt- for which I feel guilty! (haha). I know my struggle spending time with God is a reflection of something deeper in my heart, but at the same time I whole heatedly praise God I am wrestling with this for it is a sign of hope. Hope that he holds my heart captive; he is raising the bar for me and continually giving me the strength to hold on, even if it is just with the tip of one finger some days.
I share my “Raising the Bar” story with you to give witness to God’s character and testimony that we can persevere to raise the bar together. Having a chronic illness keeps me from knowing many of you on an individual level, but please know that I treasure you dearly and hope to grow closer in fellowship. I would dearly covet your prayers. Please pray that I may be armed with the Word so to be empowered to lean on God in the valleys and to walk with him on the mountaintops of life. I pray that His Word may expose the parts of my heart that need to be softened. I pray that God will mend the corners of my heart that I may not even know are hurting from years of trials. It is a hard journey, but I pray for the perseverance to journey centered in Christ for today, despite chronic illness.
Inch by inch God stretches me to “Raise the Bar” so that I will love him most endearingly, leaning on him in the valleys and praising him on the mountaintop. Know that I also pray for you and that God will do immeasurably more, whether in the valley or on the top of the grandest of all mountains for you. I love you dear brothers and sisters. ~AT
“Holding on Through Illness”
I have faced a mountain of physical trials in my life of 30 years. It started with being born with a cleft lip and palate but the journey has continued as I battle daily with an autoimmune disease. It is a journey that I would never have wished for, yet through it I have been drawn to God. I have been a witness to God’s faithfulness to do immeasurably more than I ask or imagine as the Holy Spirit works through my pain for Christ’s glory.
My autoimmune disease causes my immune system to attack many systems of my body. It has caused things like partial paresis of my stomach, internal scar tissue to build up, joint inflammation, rashes, circulation problems, and eye problems - and the list goes on. My medication list is about two pages long and includes things like immune suppressants and about 10 pills per meal so I can digest my food. I have had over 30 surgeries, including bilateral hip surgery and most recently in August, I had to have a complete hysterectomy. I have asked God many times, “Why me?” Yet in the thick of tears, as I wonder if he loves me, or if I can persevere once again, he delivers the perfect dose of love and strength. He has called me to grow through such trials - offering my body as a living sacrifice, suffering for his glory. He has called me to “Raise the Bar.” What does “Raising the Bar” look like in the midst of these continuous trials?
Inch by inch God has raised the bar in my life so that I will love him most endearingly: learning to lean on him in the valleys and to dance with him on the mountaintops of life. Raising the bar in my life has meant holding on to the bar as God raises it; and holding on to the bar means I must trust God is holding on to me. This is the core of my journey as a woman who is being sanctified by Christ and surviving on his mercy alone, through the trials of chronic illness and pain, with all the uncertainly of what tomorrow may bring.
I have been near the bottom of the valley with my physical strength stripped away, emotions that have plummeted, and not knowing how to persevere in God’s hope. And it is in those moments that God whispers to me, “Anna, just let me hold on to you!” He raises the bar in my life! He teaches me how to persevere through each trial, giving me the ounce of strength I need to be rooted in Jesus; to surrender my fears and hopes into the cradle of his arms.
In the valley and on the mountaintop, God continues to teach me that I am to live each moment in his presence, in the forgiveness and strength of his love, connected to Him by the Great Counselor, the Holy Spirit. Within His Spirit, I can remain fixed on the vision of heaven, filtering out the ways of the world that distract me from the mission we have been given. It gives me an outward focus, a Christ-centered focus. A constant challenge in dealing with a chronic illness is not becoming inwardly focused and self-centered. And remaining connected to the presence of God within each moment allows me to find much needed rest as I battle with the physical challenges. For in Christ, there is rest for the weary and burdened; I can learn much from His humble and gentle spirit (Matthew 11:28). God has also challenged me lately to share his humble and gentle spirit with others, as it is like a virus that spreads. And that is how I can raise the bar, even with a chronic illness, helping spread the gospel like a wild fire!
In the valley, God has also taught me that a part of journeying for today is not repressing or denying my emotions but surrendering them to Him, trusting Him that healing will come. He has challenged me to not sit idle in pity or pain, but to make a decision to courageously follow him through the trial. In each trial, this has looked different. Sometimes God brings me happiness to dance, while in other trials God shows me that his arms are a cradle ready to comfort and console me. Regardless of how God chooses to bring me through each trial, he continually challenges me to just hold on.
Throughout the circumstances of each trial, God continues to discipline me as a dear daughter so that I may share in his holiness. As Hebrews chapter 12 says,“For in the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” In my desire to be refined, God has disciplined me to spend more time in His Word and to commit His Word to my memory. Since I graduated from college in 2003 I have struggled on multiple occasions to have the same quality time in the Word. This struggle recently resurfaced (became obvious) as I battled with anxiety while recovering from major surgery. In the midst of my recovery, anxiety was beginning to consume my mind at times because I stressed about being away from my extra full-time faculty job for two months and my Ph.D. program. I kept praying that God would come to my rescue but my worries and restlessness kept whirling. Over and over, God brought it to my attention how much more I needed His Word on a daily basis - as I had walked away from that commitment. Every time I read the Word I realized how much more of it I needed in order to stay connected to God! He also put people in my life to remind me of my need! I had simply walked away from it because I just felt content where I was with God. I felt close enough to God. Whoa dangerous! What a big oxymoron- feeling close enough to God! There should have been a big danger sign: “CLIFF AHEAD: EMOTIONS LYING.”
I was relying on myself to be fulfilled with peace. I made excuses like “I’m too tired.” God disciplined me and made it clear that my anxiety was not going to go away if I did not fill my mind with the Word. So I started memorizing verses that helped me. When sin leaves our minds, there is a hole remaining and something must fill it. I finally allowed the hole in my mind to be filled with the Word instead of letting anxiety rush back in. In that instance, my sin was anxiety controlling my life but there are many other things that can take Christ off center stage of my mind. God continues to challenge me to read his Word, to mediate on it, and to memorize it. And boy it is a challenge! I have spent a lot of time wondering why it is such a challenge for me.
I have a lot of guilt- for which I feel guilty! (haha). I know my struggle spending time with God is a reflection of something deeper in my heart, but at the same time I whole heatedly praise God I am wrestling with this for it is a sign of hope. Hope that he holds my heart captive; he is raising the bar for me and continually giving me the strength to hold on, even if it is just with the tip of one finger some days.
I share my “Raising the Bar” story with you to give witness to God’s character and testimony that we can persevere to raise the bar together. Having a chronic illness keeps me from knowing many of you on an individual level, but please know that I treasure you dearly and hope to grow closer in fellowship. I would dearly covet your prayers. Please pray that I may be armed with the Word so to be empowered to lean on God in the valleys and to walk with him on the mountaintops of life. I pray that His Word may expose the parts of my heart that need to be softened. I pray that God will mend the corners of my heart that I may not even know are hurting from years of trials. It is a hard journey, but I pray for the perseverance to journey centered in Christ for today, despite chronic illness.
Inch by inch God stretches me to “Raise the Bar” so that I will love him most endearingly, leaning on him in the valleys and praising him on the mountaintop. Know that I also pray for you and that God will do immeasurably more, whether in the valley or on the top of the grandest of all mountains for you. I love you dear brothers and sisters. ~AT
Friday, September 24, 2010
My Recovery Road...
Preparing and recovering from my hysterectomy that was in August has been a journey of patience in the physical, emotional, and spiritual realms. This decision was not made lightly but ultimately was needed to bring better health to treat my autoimmune fibrosis and endometriosis. After yearly laparoscopies and many medications it was time.
Physically I have healed slowly but steadily with some minor complications but clearly with God's hands upon me. My bladder was perforated during surgery but continues to heal well. I have bulging discs in my neck that have flared up, along with my other autoimmune joint issues, but I feel stronger each week. Please pray that God would help me sleep at night so that my energy can be restored! Pray also as I go back to work soon. The biggest blessing has been that all of the pathology from surgery came back showing no recurrence of the autoimmune fibrosis. It was all endometriosis which means the immunosuppression drugs are doing their job taking care of a scary disease! I have praised God from the depths of my heart more than I have in years!
My emotions and spiritual life are so connected and a journey it has been. God has surrounded me with loving people who take care of me, pray for me and offer great wisdom and teaching as I seek to heal and grow during this time. God has reminded me that in order to get something out of my mind, such as anxiety or fear, I must replace it with something. For me that has been the Word! Through memorizing his Word and time with him he continues to bless me with knowledge of his ways and character. He blows me away with how big he is and his masterful ways. In closing, let me express my gratitude to him for my road toward recovery...
Dearest Father,
How big you are! You are a lot bigger than I ever remember! You are sovereign and in control; orchestrating our lives, orchestrating your perfect plan, using all good and evil. You are gentle and humble in heart. Thank you for letting me come and rest in you. May I learn from you. May I be gentle and humble; may I let others come to me and be a source of your love. Thank you for your peace Father God. I surrender my fears to you. My wounds you have healed. I lean on your ways.
In love,
Yours
Journey Now ~AT
Physically I have healed slowly but steadily with some minor complications but clearly with God's hands upon me. My bladder was perforated during surgery but continues to heal well. I have bulging discs in my neck that have flared up, along with my other autoimmune joint issues, but I feel stronger each week. Please pray that God would help me sleep at night so that my energy can be restored! Pray also as I go back to work soon. The biggest blessing has been that all of the pathology from surgery came back showing no recurrence of the autoimmune fibrosis. It was all endometriosis which means the immunosuppression drugs are doing their job taking care of a scary disease! I have praised God from the depths of my heart more than I have in years!
My emotions and spiritual life are so connected and a journey it has been. God has surrounded me with loving people who take care of me, pray for me and offer great wisdom and teaching as I seek to heal and grow during this time. God has reminded me that in order to get something out of my mind, such as anxiety or fear, I must replace it with something. For me that has been the Word! Through memorizing his Word and time with him he continues to bless me with knowledge of his ways and character. He blows me away with how big he is and his masterful ways. In closing, let me express my gratitude to him for my road toward recovery...
Dearest Father,
How big you are! You are a lot bigger than I ever remember! You are sovereign and in control; orchestrating our lives, orchestrating your perfect plan, using all good and evil. You are gentle and humble in heart. Thank you for letting me come and rest in you. May I learn from you. May I be gentle and humble; may I let others come to me and be a source of your love. Thank you for your peace Father God. I surrender my fears to you. My wounds you have healed. I lean on your ways.
In love,
Yours
Journey Now ~AT
Monday, August 30, 2010
Companionship
There is something simply beautiful that God meets us right where we are no matter where we are or who we are. No matter how high or low, clean or dirty, strong or weak, he awaits. He knows where we have been and he knows where we will go.
I was humbly struck yesterday by God's sovereignty; he is the almighty, most powerful ruler over all nations. Yet he stands waiting to be a part of my daily life. There's nothing complicated about it- just invite him in today- invite him in to the moment. He won't intrude. There's no grand plan needed- there's no 12 steps or "perfect timing". Not tomorrow! Journey today as his companion! ~AT
 |
| Companionship! |
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Rooted in the Moment
To "Journey for Today" takes strength, it requires deep roots stabilizing our body, mind, and spirit to the Truth within each moment from the rising to the setting of the sun. Each day, each moment, we must move with intentionality in order to resonate the core of what sustains us. As humans, we are weak branches blown this way and that way by the wind of our emotions or the feelings of the moment. Even if we want to be strong; we are weak. But in Christ, we are strong! He is the solid trunk that we must stay attached to.
Perseverance means that no matter what we face, we must strive to continually stop and ground ourselves in the moment, to live in communion with Christ, guided by the Holy Spirit, exalting our King. My illness can cause a lot of difficulties. I have daily pain- some days it is easy to tolerate while other days it is very difficult. I have a headache or migraine every day. I have had tendonitis in every joint- and usually have it in at least one joint. I cannot eat a full meal without throwing up and take about 20 pills a day to eat. The list goes on. Chronic illness can be consuming. Even if you don't have a chronic illness, I'm sure there is something in your life that consumes your energy, your thoughts. We all get distracted from what really matters!
My illness can overwhelm the present moment with undesirable trials, but by connecting to the present (instead of wishing it away) I am filled with the strength of Christ and the Holy Spirit to feel, see, and hear so many other things that are within that same moment besides difficulties. The rainbow is brighter than the clouds. Each moment of the day, may we rely on the strength of Christ. Try walking and imagining the ground being the support of Christ- your whole body is supported by it. Feel that support up through your whole body, infusing your mind, polishing your heart and blessing others.
May we stand firmly in that strength, forgiven and living connected to the guiding strength of our Great Counselor, Holy Spirit. May we connect our entire beings, including our breath, to Christ for healing, to live in the moment, to be polished and refined. As Joni Aareckson Tada (1993) quotes Edwin Hatch,
"Breath on me, breathe on me,
Holy Spirit, breathe on me
Take thou my heart, cleanse ev'ry part,
Holly Spirit, breathe on me."
We have been chosen and delivered! He has given us the strength to persevere! For each moment of today ~AT
A "thanks for today" to all of the fathers, especially my dad, who has blessed me with insight into the love of my heavenly Father. Thank you for your endless love. You have taught me about love. You have shown me so much and I love to laugh and dance with you. And to the father of my niece, Story, who is quite amazing. Here they are demonstrating their fun loving spirits!!!
Friday, June 18, 2010
A song to sing...
Psalm 47:6-7: Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our Kind, sing praises. God is the king of all the earth; sing to him a psalm of praise. God reigns over the nations (and each moment of today- each piece of happiness or struggle within the moment of today).
Clap your hands, move within the moment praising God for the pure joy of life ~ Pass it on ~AT
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